Prayers For Your Children; Parts One and Two
- Olivia Fischer
- Jan 9, 2023
- 2 min read
Updated: Jun 28, 2023
Part One
To love my children for who they are and not who I expect them to be
I have to start here, because I think that possibly the most damaging thing a parent can do - and so many of the issues we face in this relationship stems from this wound, is not being able to love, to accept, to see our child for who they are. Who they are *intrinsically*, not just their likes and dislikes, their manuerisms, their natures, not the things we end up labelling them with, just them.
This is hard, this is where so many of us come up against that wall of being not enough for our children, no matter how hard we try.
I know for me, the more I try to focus my personal efforts on loving my children unconditionally, embodying a respectful, intentional parent. The more I try to steer my children to the best version of themselves through my own efforts and expectations, the more guilt I feel.

Because, no matter how hard I try to love, to trust instincts, to fill myself up with all manner of knowledge, to put the effort into healing my own past wounds that impede my ability to interact with my children without bias and the pain of childhood scars, it is never enough.
Of course these efforts are beautiful, they are absolutely vital, without effort and struggle and aspiring for better from myself, the door isn’t open to growth at all.
But I inevitably hit a road block where I simply cannot go any further on my own.
Because I fall short of the glory of God, I fall short of His standard of perfection which is where unconditional love is possible, because I am human. My love is good, my love is hopeful, capable, always growing - but my love can never be completely unconditional without grace.
This has to be something we are praying over our children, really, it needs to be where we start.
Part Two
For more of Him and less of me in parenting my child
As I learned about respectful parenting, I felt like I failed again and again (can I stress enough, how much growth and healing happens in failure and weakness?!). In a difficult season, I remember just crying out to God in special prayers one night, “more of you God. I’m failing at this. I feel like I’m causing more problems than anything. More of You, less of me. You parent them. Parent them through me. I want to just get out of the way of You doing what is best.”

Oh the freedom, the relief, that flooded my soul.
Years ago, I found this quote tucked into a devotion on the Finding in the Temple, this has become my mantra for myself, and for the development of my children: “What do you want this soul of my son to be? O let me find out that I may work together with you.”
While we should recognize the responsibility of raising our children, I think this must always lead us to the authority of God in the upbringing of the souls He has created for His Divine Purpose and for Love. It feels like too much for human parents for a reason, we aren’t meant to do it alone.
Blessings,
Olivia
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